12 Dumbest Drinking Laws Across Our Great Nation Header

12 Dumbest Drinking Laws Across Our Great Nation

In Banter by Erin Petrey1 Comment

As my grandmother taught me: one should never discuss sex, politics, or religion at the dinner table. These days, it seems politics are nearly unavoidable (especially when you have one relative who leans against the grain of the rest of the family) so what are we supposed to discuss with the holidays on the horizon?

Fear not, the R Street Institute - a free markets-focused think tank - has rounded up the 12 dumbest drinking laws across our great nation. Though edging in on the politics a bit, this list is a riot and will sure to be appreciated by your booze-hound cousin, your teetotaling aunt, and you - the sophisticated whiskey quaffer - alike.

Dumb Liquor Laws 1 Image

The R Street Institute released this list in honor of Repeal Day: that glorious day in December when all of the bathtubs emptied of their gin and liquor once again flowed freely across these great United States; or, well, for the most part. It seems that despite being almost a century removed from our times of temperance, the rusty claws of anti-salooning liquor laws still squarely sit on the books all over the country - and we aren't just talking about your run-of-the-mill Blue laws or dry counties. Many of the more obscure laws of the Volstead ilk were scrubbed from the official statutes since 1933, but as places like Kentucky still have anti-horse thieving laws on the registers (a Lexingtonian better dare not walk down the street with a Graeter's cone in their back pocket for fear of citation for attempted horse theft), other states have preserved sundry moronic abstemious edicts.

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The full publication is available to download for free at the R Street Institutes website. It's a great gift for anyone but especially these friends and relatives:

  • The crunchy one who is trying to "go green." This free and digital gift has no carbon footprint!
  • The DC Hill bro who is always proclaiming, "Bruh! Let's go to happy hour at Hawk and Dove!"
  • Your grandmother who just loves new fodder for her email chains she forwards to everyone in her address book (even though you have begged her to remove you from distribution).
  • That one person you know who lives in Idaho for some inexplicable reason.
  • The one cousin who sports a MAGA hat in every social media post but you still have to find something to talk with them about without instigating a political argument.
  • The one who will give you a gift that's obviously from a yard sale but will also make you feel bad about you not getting them anything. You can print it out for them and pretend you bought it at a chic independent bookseller.

About the Author

Erin Petrey

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Born and raised in the Bluegrass, Erin Petrey has always held an affinity for her home state’s signature spirit: Bourbon. Throughout her world travels (34 countries and counting!), Erin delights in spreading the gospel of Bourbon across the globe, from Spain to Korea and even here at home in the Nation’s Capital, where she also serves on the board of the Kentucky Society of Washington. Frequently, she can be seen giving advice to unsuspecting customers in Bourbon aisles, usually recommending one of her favorite varieties, such as Russell’s Reserve and Elmer T. Lee. Always up for an adventure, Erin also enjoys kayaking, Science Fiction, Craft Beer, and traveling everywhere possible. Read Erin's full profile.


  1. Avatar

    The laws for booze are just as stupid as many of the other laws our “smart” govt has us obey. Of course if we do the research the law makers are either excempt , or use their political clout to not obey these laws. A prime example is the laws for firearms. We, the law abiding citizen is handicapped to protect himself. Were the fine criminals that we all know are innocent get away with all sorts of crimes against us. So the laws on alcohol are just as crooked. Remember, prohibition- but good folks love the Kennedys got rich from that era. Also, most of the politicians still had their cocktail parties. If you knew the right folks you got to keep you license to make alcohol for medical reasons. “What A Country”. I really respect our law makers. NOT.

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